I have 38 tabs open on my laptop. Telling you because . . . reasons. I don’t know what those reasons are, but there simply must be reasons. There’s a reason for everything, so they say.

Are these 38 tabs a sign of laziness? Perhaps. Or brilliance? It could be brilliance. It certainly could. Maybe I need an abnormal amount of tabs open to keep my mind occupied. The information hidden beneath those tabs is fuel for my all-consuming need for knowledge.

Hold on – I randomly checked a few of them, two of them were cat videos and one was an ad for car insurance that must have popped up. Twitter, my email account, and my blog are open, as is Pinterest and a Google search page for why tortoises eat their own crap all the frickin time, but still, I’m quite certain the remaining 30 tabs will reveal something with at least a morsel of intellectual substance I have previously fed upon or intended to digest at some point.

Or, it truly is laziness. No, it’s virtual hoarding. I know, that’s what Pinterest is for, but my disease has obviously mutated and now I can’t click off of web pages because of some recent brain altering trauma. Omigosh. I did, in fact, have a recent brain altering trauma that makes this make perfect sense, I think.

Actually it doesn’t, but still . . . it might, maybe, possibly, in some small way have something to do with it. It could. See, I had several – more than 10, less than 38 – pages open last week, pages I was using for research, and I clicked something I guess I shouldn’t have clicked-and-they-all-disappeared-and-I-couldn’t-retrieve-them-and-I-accidentally-deleted-my-history-while-looking-for-them-and-I-was-panicked-and-I-may-have-cried-a-little-and suffered-a-mini-meltdown — hence my new found apprehension and reluctance to close the open tabs on my computer, which makes no sense really, since having them all opened and unsaved led to their loss.

I no longer have any idea what I am trying to say. I’m trying to cut back on coffee, it must be withdrawal symptoms. Maybe a glass of wine would help. Do they make caffeinated wine?

In conclusion, I am not lazy, I am crazy. And brilliant. Brilliantly crazy. And if you just read all this nonsense, you likely are as well. Oh, you should probably open this in a new tab . . .