I, Crystal Reneé Cook, being of sound(ish) mind, do hereby relinquish, surrender, and abnegate any and all duties, rights, and responsibilities previously afforded to and required of me in respect to the cooking duties of this establishment. In layman’s terms, I quit.
I no longer possess the skills necessary and needed to provide well balanced, properly prepared, edible meals that require any measure of high heat. This includes, but is not limited to, the cooktop, the oven, the toaster oven, the barbecue grill, and possibly the crock pot. I do retain continued access to the toaster, microwave, and the coffee maker until and if it is deemed I am no longer able to utilize them with any measure of safety in the manner for which they were designed.
I apologize for any inconveniences this may cause to my family, I am sure they knew this day would come.
Signed in sincerity and love,
Mom
Post script I am still the CEO of this family, I’m just not going to cook for you anymore.
The Qwiet Muse 
Pingback: Dinner – 100 word challenge & my reasons why | The Qwiet Muse
Ohhhh bless your boots! Takes a really special cook to burn boiled eggs *giggling*
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I’m nothing if I’m not special 🙂 I told my husband just because my last name is Cook, doesn’t mean I am one!
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Hehehe too right! Well, if you ever want to give a visa to a vegan VERY enthusiastic cook, let me know…
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If only it were in my power, I’d adopt you if I could! You’re not too much older than my son, maybe we could pull it off 😉
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Heheh now THAT would be awesome! I’m sure I could look suitably waif-and-stray-like 😉
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You will have three brothers and sister and we will wear tiaras every weekend (probably just us), and we will read and write and go on walks 😊
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Perfick!
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People and cooking are weird! Over a decade ago I was asked to keep an eye on a roast, and the person who asked me didn’t check the oven settings before they left, I was not aware of this. It was supposed to be cooked over two days, so I only checked on it every couple of hours. I realised it was starting to burn on the top and I rang the person and they started yelling at me. Ever since then I’ve been told I can’t cook and I wasn’t allowed too either. Cause even though I apparently can’t cook, I should have double check their settings? If I hadn’t gone overseas for a few months by myself, I would have really never have learnt anything.
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It’s something some people are good at and love, and some people aren’t and don’t! I sort of fall in the middle, I can cook (well, obviously I have a few issues), but I hate doing it! Sounds like you did exactly what you were supposed to do with that roast 😜
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
Any other Moms feel this way?
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Hey, kids got to learn to cook sometime. It is an essential life skill unless you live next door to a taco truck.
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Thankfully, most of the time they do, the three at home are 19, 24, & 27. My poor husband will suffer the most, or he will be thankful – he fears my scatterbrained mind will lead to a house fire!
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I was picturing them younger. Good thing they did learn. 🙂
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Most folks don’t realize I have older children, it’s because I still look young, right? Ha! My two oldest boys are autistic, so my stories about them may have a different vibe to them. My daughter (she’s 23) loves to cook, hates to clean though . . . her poor husband, at least he’s well fed!
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