Casting Out & Letting Go

Nightmare in a bottle - Crystal R. Cook

I put my nightmare in a bottle
and I cast it out to sea,
I watched it ebb and flow
as it drifted back to me.

I filled it up with pebbles
from the sandy shore,
so certain it would sink,
I threw it out once more.

I waited and I watched
until it surfaced once again,
I snatched it from the water
and cursed it for its sin.

All the night I tossed it
into that lonesome sea,
through salty tears I prayed,
I would at last know peace

When the sun cracked the horizon,
I was spent of all my strength,
that nightmare in the bottle,
lay in the froth beside my feet.

I turned and walked away
as the tide began to grow,
it took away my nightmare,
and I did not watch it go.

My mother always told me to let go and let God, I’ve found this isn’t always easy to do. We tend to hang on to the very things we need to release, keeping ourselves bound to them.

We clutch them close and try to fix them on our own, we let them go only to take them right back. Instead of releasing them and moving forward, we nurture our pains and we feed our sorrows.

We wear our burdens like armor then ask God why we must bear the weight of them. The answer is so simple, yet so easily cast aside . . .

He is waiting for us to lay them at His feet and walk away.

Crystal R. Cook

Somehow Separate

Crystal R. Cook

Outside of myself.
Walking wide-eyed
through dreamless dream.
I feel the wind
tickle my skin,
I smell the neighbors
breakfast biscuits through
open kitchen windows,
My feet touch
the floor but,
I float, somehow
disconnected, watching me.
Thought and action askew,
the soundtrack in my mind
ever so slightly ahead or perhaps
the day forgot to begin on time.
Two planes of existence
struggling to coincide or
break away.
Discord.
Harmony disrupted.
Separating. Separated.
Separate.

Crystal R. Cook

 

Hello? Hello? . . . Hello?

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Phone solicitors are fun. One just called. Caller ID alerted me to the obvious solicitation expert waiting for me to pick up, I answered, didn’t say hello, just answered and listened. He waited the obligatory 10 seconds like he was obviously trained to do before saying hello. He said it 6 times. He did not hang up though. He said it two more times and waited.

A tiny bit of the laughter I was holding back escaped and he quickly said, “Hello! I won’t take up much of your time, how are you doing this evening?” He waited for about five seconds.

“Hello? Hello? Are you still there?”

Five more seconds tick by.

“Ma’am? Hello? Hello? This will only take a minute or two of your time. Hello? Is there a good time for me to call back?”

Three seconds.

“Hello?”

Five seconds.

Click.

He was persistent and patient. I like that in a phone solicitor. Wait . . . no. No I don’t.

Crystal R. Cook

*ish* day . . .

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I keep telling myself I need to get up and do something at least relatively productive today. The problem is, I don’t much care for being told what to do, so I am rather at odds with myself at the moment. On one hand, I am trying to convince myself it’s my own personal desire to rise and be responsible, on the other, I am my own authority figure and feel the need to rebel.

I’m fairly certain I’ve mentioned it before, but in case you missed it, I’m not entirely crazy. I can’t be the only one with an ongoing, internal discourse in regard to how best spend the day ahead. At the heart of this particular issue is this, I’m tired. Physically, I’m awake, chipper even. Alright, that’s an exaggeration almost tantamount to a lie, but I am awake and in a fairly fair(ish) mood. It will be safe to remove the ish once I’ve finished my coffee, at least I am fairly certain(ish) it will be.

My current level of tired goes beyond the physical. I am weary in many ways at my very core. It’s like everything in me just realized it’s been running on empty for too long and the gears have ground to a halt. Maybe this is why I drink too much coffee. Perhaps I am feeding my fragile engine with the wrong fuel. Nah, it just needs something in addition to my beloved brew.

~ OR ~ I am just being lazy and all of this diatribical wordage is nothing more than me justifying my reluctance to do laundry.  *diatribical – it is a word today. If the dictionary can now include hashtag, I can play with my words as I wish. Octothorpe, by the way, it is an octothorpe. 

I’ve approximately two, possibly three more sips in my cup and am contemplating a second fix, oh, but that requires action on my part, it’s a worthy enough endeavor I suppose. Well worthy. I may make some tea in lieu of the java, sounds rather delightful actually. I was hoping my rambling would lead me and spur me forward in my quest for motivation, but thus far the most appealing thing I’ve come up with is sitting on the porch with my coffee, or tea, and losing myself completely between the pages of a book.

I may get dressed today, the probability of remaining in my pajamas is likely though, quite likely as a matter of fact since doing the wash has not yet made it to the top of my to-do list for the day. My cup is now emptied and a decision has to be made, I’m flipping a coin . . .

Crystal R. Cook

That awards show . . .

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Everyone is already talking about that awards show thingy, who wore what and how they wore it, so I thought I would go ahead and join the discussion . . .

There were just so many glorious gowns and snazzy suits, it’s hard to pick the best. I mean, the hair and makeup alone on some of them was simply beautiful, and that was just the guys . . . so much pretty jewelry and people wearing shoes and carrying handbags.

I loved that one girl with the dress, you know the one I’m talking about. Oh, and that other one, she looked fantastic. I don’t know about what’s-her-name though, she was looking a little rough, but that guy in that one movie that came out not too long ago was looking good.

I was really blown away by that actress with the long hair, or was it short? Doesn’t matter, she looked good didn’t she? And that one gal who was in that movie with the guy who was wearing the black suit just looks gorgeous no matter what, don’t you agree?

Letsee . . . who else? Omigosh, I can’t believe I almost forgot that woman who walked in on the red carpet, there were cameras shooting pictures and she had on those shoes. Wow. Stunning, you can’t tell me she wasn’t stunning.

That older guy who’s been in quite a few movies was looking pretty dapper hu? That one dress by that designer was really pretty. I think that other lady, the one with the face, looked lovely, but her dress was just all wrong for her wasn’t it? Would you have worn that?

Wait a second . . . I forgot. I didn’t watch the damn show. Did I miss much?

~ Tongue-in-cheek of course, I know many love the awards shows, I don’t pay much attention to it all and am always out of the proverbial loop when it comes to the next day recaps ~

Crystal R. Cook

RonovanWrites Weekly Haiku Prompt Challenge #7

qwietpleez:

Adding my 17 words to the Haiku Challenge . . .

Do not let your pain
keep your heart from finding peace
they can coexist

Crystal R. Cook

Originally posted on ronovanwrites:

RW Weekly Haiku ChallengeBadge provided by DazzlingWhimsy.

#7

Welcome to this weeks Haiku prompt challenge.

(Not the Wordless with Pictures. That one is out at 9:30.)

If you want to refresh yourselves on a bit of Haiku in English, although you do not have to stick to that particular style of Haiku, it’s just my particular style to use, click here.

For Tips and Guidelines refreshers click here.

This weeks two words to use in some form, meaning you can use another word that means the same thing are:

 Before you start!

I have a link that will help you out. Remember for Haiku in English the total syllables are 5 for the first line, 7 for the second, and 5 for the last. This the Haiku I use. I don’t really hold people to that for this but if you want to do it in the 5/7/5 manner, the traditional…

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I Don’t Need Your Awareness

qwietpleez:

This post really hits on something I often have a difficult time with . . . If you want to know what it is like to be autistic, you have to listen to those on the spectrum. ALL of them. You see, autism is not something you can fit into a generalized list of symptoms and issues, you can’t watch a video or read someone’s opinion because we are all unique in so many ways, just like every single person has their own traits, quirks and mannerisms, so does every single person on the spectrum.

Awareness is great, vital even, but it’s when people think they have an understanding of what it might be like because they watched a video or know what it must be like because they read about it, it can be detrimental to the awareness they are trying to promote . . .

Originally posted on Musings of an Aspie:

Awareness is trendy. Everywhere you look people are raising awareness about things. Sometimes even things they know very little about.

For example: here’s a 2-minute Vimeo video titled “Listen” that is intended to “inspire positive change through a deeper tolerance and understanding” about autism (Trigger/Seizure Warning for flashing graphics, loud abrupt sounds).

Do you feel more aware? Do you understand what it’s like to be “a child who is non-verbal” and an “extreme case” (in the words of the producers)?

No, you don’t. How do I know this? Because the people who made that video don’t know what it’s like to be a nonverbal autistic child.

Neither do I, of course. I am not and nor was I ever a nonverbal child. Only a nonverbal autistic child or someone who was once a nonverbal autistic child understands what it’s like to live that experience.

I am autistic, however, and…

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