An Introverts Attempt at Extroverting -or-Wow, I Really Suck at Peopling

 

img_0526I did something last night. Something so totally out of character and my realm of comfort that I am still in a bit of shock. I’m kind of proud of myself, and still slightly mortified if you want to know the truth.

Here’s the thing . . . I am a little introverted, maybe a little more than a lot introverted. Full disclosure and all, I’m not good with or around people. I can fake it fairly well, most of the time, and once you get to know me it might even surprise you just how terrible I am at the whole people thing. For the most part, I tend to NOT people much.

I prefer to sit back and watch without engaging.

I have friends. They love me and I love them right back. They accept my ‘me’ness, I don’t know why, but thank God in Heaven they do. I recently found out IRL means ‘in real life’, why we need acronyms for every blasted thing we say, I have no clue, but they are there. Anyway, I have some amazing IRL friends (it hurts me to use internet shortcuts so I won’t be doing that again), the thing is, I typically think of my virtual friends as real life friends as well.

After all, they’re real and are a part of my life in some way, so in my mind, they are as real as those I can touch. Except they live in my computer. They only know me by my words and in my words introversion is just a concept. I can extrovert the crap out of words on a screen.

So back to last night, I attempted to extrovert.

I kind of made an ass out of myself.

But I crossed a line I should probably cross a little more often. I tripped over that line, but damn it, I crossed it.

See, I went out to see a show, my son was running the sound for one of our local playhouses, it was a production of A Chorus Line (it was fabulous, by the way). During intermission I thought I recognized someone from my online world.

My husband and my son told me I should go say hello. I cursed them under my breath and sat back in my seat, but I was thinking about it. And guess what?

I fricking did it.

I walked over and asked if her name was Stephanie, it was. It was her. What in the actual eff had I just done! I was people-ing!

I was a little, maybe a lot rambly and nervous and I’m fairly certain I looked and sounded like an ass. Can you believe I was actually shaking?

She was just as adorably lovely as she is online, I may have been a bit star struck as well, I’ve been reading her awesome and hilarious bloggy-bits for quite some time. She introduced me to her daughter, I don’t know the etiquette for being introduced to daughters, I reached out and shook her hand, are you supposed to do that? I think I said she was lovely, but I can’t be sure, I might have just said lovely, or I might have simply said it in my head. I dunno. I was loony-toons and so out of my element, and I don’t even really have an element.

I remember thinking about how awful my hair looked, how weird my voice sounded coming out of my facehole, and how embarrassing it was to talk to people when diabetes has stolen more than a few of your teeth.

You wanna know something? I am so, so glad I told at voice inside my head to shut up. The one telling me not to say anything. The one telling me to stay put. The one telling me I would make a fool out of myself. Well little voice, I did it despite your whisperings.

I’ll be in recovery mode for about a week now, but I did it!

Stephanie, thank you for being gracious and lovely and taking the time to talk with me for a few moments, and thank you for not signaling security to remove the somewhat psycho chick away from your table . . .

23 thoughts on “An Introverts Attempt at Extroverting -or-Wow, I Really Suck at Peopling

  1. I’m a little shy and awkward until I get to know someone well. I met Miss Lizzi Lewis and a few others I blog hop with and have become good friends with, and I must say, I was quite star-struck and probably silly, talked too much, but it made our connection stronger.

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  2. Oh my goodness, I looked for you afterwards to say goodbye and tell you I was totally serious about a blogging conference together! Also I didn’t hug you because I was having a severe allergy attack and was worried you might think me sick! (See all the stuff that goes on in our interior minds?) We need real life thought bubbles! You were an absolute delight and I was so enthused you came up to me. Reading this post (and meeting you!) just completely made my weekend! Big non-allergy Hugs, Stephanie ps. You might get chuckles out of this post of mine, the only other time I met an online “blogger friend.” https://onceuponyourprime.com/2015/05/11/when-bloggers-worlds-collide-an-offbeat-meet-greet/

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    • Real life thought bubbles would be awesome . . . as long as we could turn them off sometimes 😜 I was a nervous wreck when I met Hasty & Lizzi, and that was planned! Next time we see each other, and I do hope there will be one, I might remember how to speak like a proper human! You’ve made me feel a bit more normal, so many bloggers have messaged to tell me they are the same way, I KNEW I was in good virtual company! Now I must go read about your encounter. I hope your week is beautiful . . .

      Liked by 1 person

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