Tag Archive | illness

Vertigo and me – NOT happy together.

There’s no knowing where we’re going
there’s no earthly way to know
so we’re simply to and froing
slowly getting vertigo
  from Willy Wonka Jr.

ver·ti·go
ˈvərdəɡō/
noun
a sensation of whirling and loss of balance, associated particularly with looking down from a great height, or caused by disease affecting the inner ear or the vestibular nerve; dizziness, lightheadedness, loss of balance

Sailing through
the roughest seas
my vessel ever listing,
listing,
listing off to port.
Willy Wonka
(that’s Cap’n Wonka
to you)
navigates the
deep, deep depths
of briny, brilliant,
blurry blue –
Though I fear
he may be blind,
though I fear
he knows not
what to do,
he swears he’s
looking,
searching,
seeking,
shore,
and no more
briny, brilliant,
blurry, blurry
blue.
Oh, but the
longer I sail
(listing off to port)
with Wonka
at the helm
the more I fear,
sincerely fear,
my ship
is going down.

Three days ago I was pirated away on an impromptu journey (I didn’t even have a golden ticket) and set off to sail on a wibbly, wobbly journey (not through space and time), no great swooshing sounds, no Tardis (damn) my ambulance wasn’t even blue – and no 10. My doctor wasn’t even close to 10. –sigh-

david-tennant-doctor-who-tenth-doctor-113843-480x320

Since then, I’ve sat, (or tried to sit), in a vertiginousness stupor, trying to still my internal ebb and flow, this tempest is within. Vertigo. Vertigo is the vorticular swirling of . . . every-frickin-thing. Imagine the feeling you might have if you were drunk and just getting off a roller coaster and then standing up too quickly while looking over the edge of a cliff while on a boat during a storm. That. That is pretty much how I feel. Maybe. I don’t know, I’ve never done those things, I’m just assuming it might, maybe, possibly feel a little bit like blasted vertigo.

I’m like a Nascar darling when I try to walk, (or turn my head) I can hear the phantom crowd cheering, “She’s making another left turn!” Listing to port. For some reason, I tend to fall to my left when I attempt to stand. I feel like the terra firma beneath my feet has crumbled away and the overwhelming sensation of my inevitable collapse is more than slightly disconcerting. Inertia is my friend.

My docs (The Doctor would have known what to do), can’t really say what started this. Something about something about the inner ear. They can’t say how long it might last. They can’t say if this is a one time deal. Pfft.

So, vertigo sucks. Spinning, swirling, nausea, dizziness, lightheadedness, confusion . . . not fun. I don’t even like carousels or ferris wheels or roller coasters or even those little cars that kiddies ride in circles, and at the moment, I feel like I can’t get off the ride.

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There’s no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There’s no knowing where we’re rowing
Or which way the river’s flowing  – Willy Wonka