While sorting through half a bazillion unnamed files on my computer, I stumbled upon this little satirical gem written by my son for a 12th grade English assignment.

My little non-conformist . . .

An Unofficial Official Announcement From the Officials That Officiate Things Unofficially

The Politics of Political Correctness in America

One of the basic tenets of our country has been the freedom of speech, but times have changed, and we as a people, must change with them. The First Amendment in the Bill of Rights, adopted in 1791, among other things, states that Congress shall not prohibit the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech.

This is an antiquated ideal that no longer serves as an acceptable standard by which to adhere to. In the past, it was necessary for the people to express themselves, to share their beliefs, and personal opinions; this was in part, due to the fact that in the early years of our country’s history, the governing powers valued what the people had to say.

This is no longer the case. The government is now filled with powerful people who know it all. They know what is best for the people, even if the people they are charged with controlling are confused or think they are in disagreement with the policies and laws and practices being implemented, often without their knowledge, and regardless of their voting decisions.

With so many of the confused and misinformed masses speaking out, further confusing the already confused, there will now be an Amendment to the First Amendment. As a free nation, freedom of speech will be permitted as long as it conforms to specific standards of said ‘free speech’, as outlined by the new parameters hence set forth by the ruling powers of our democratic and all-knowing government officials.

The people (citizens of The United States of America), are free to reiterate and express any and all official (and unofficial) statements, policies, standards, laws, opinions, and personal preferences that coincide with the current government guidelines, with little to no deviation, to the aforementioned subjects (which are subject to change at any time).

While there will be small pockets of resistance, this new standard of free speech will serve to unify the people by ensuring no one has a differing or radical view that will upset the new norm we are striving for. Those who are unwilling to comply with the new standard of free speech will be subject to legal action which can and will result in fines and sequestration from the general public. They will be mandated to undergo thought training in an attempt to rehabilitate their way of thinking in effort to return them to a peaceful society where dissenting voices are no longer an obstacle.

Within a few short years, new technology currently being tested will be introduced. This breakthrough will allow a small device to be inserted directly into the thought center of the brain, effectively filtering out thoughts and ideas that do not fit within the program’s parameters. Software is in development that will eliminate the need for original thought and will be available (and required) for every legal citizen.

This is only the first of the many, new, and exciting changes coming. Soon, the entire Constitution and Bill of Rights will be reworked, re-imagined, and completely changed to better suit the needs of those in power.

Your cooperation is appreciated, (and not optional).

M.C.