Tag Archive | sleepy

Today is a new day – Conversation with Myself or First Thought vs Second Thought or Piss Off

So I woke up today. Obviously you did too, so that’s something.

I’ve had a rough couple of days. I spent some time in the pity pot trying to hide from anxiety, stewing over things that were bothering me; things that were pissing me off. The usual – health, society, not knowing how to do crap on my computer, people, stuff I haven’t done that needs to get done. It’s a random and lengthy list I won’t bore you with.

I went to bed last night praying I would wake in the morning with a new perspective. I tried to fall asleep giving myself a pep talk, cheering myself onward to a better tomorrow – complete with an imaginary cheer-leading squad with pom-poms and ponytails.

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Gimme an H

Gimme an A

Gimme a P-P-Y

What’s that spell?

Happy! Happy!

Beeee happy!

You can do it!

Yes you can!

If you can’t do it

no one can!

Beeee happy!

I annoyed myself and took a sleeping pill. I had nightmares about murdering cheerleaders, but I slept surprisingly well, I’m not sure what that says about me. Maybe I do need a therapist. Anyway, I woke up and tried to replace my residual stinkin’ thinkin’ with some positive affirmations – hip-hip-hooray and sis-boom-blah-bah.

My first thought was, “It’s a brand new day.”

My second thought was, “No shit Sherlock, every day is a brand new day.”

To which my first thought responded, “Here we go again, why can’t you just think positive? Let’s walk on some sunshine and think happy thoughts!

Second thought then told first thought to piss off.

I’m trying to ignore this internal dialogue and find some neutral ground until one of them claims victory. Until that happens, I’m just going to get out of bed, drink copious amounts of coffee and make lists (I will lose) of all the things I need to accomplish. Or maybe I’ll watch Netflix.

Not much of a morning person, especially in the mornings.

Not much of a morning person, especially in the mornings.

Morning came too soon today,
I wanna crawl back in my bed.
I wanna close my sleepy eyes,
and cover up my head.

There’s no rest for the weary,
at least that’s what they say.
I guess I’ll have to suck it up
and go on about my day.

I’ll make myself some coffee
just a pot or two,
then I must get started
on all I have to do.

I should tidy up the house
pay the bills now overdue,
decide what to make for dinner
and wash a load or two.

I haven’t dusted in a while
I should get that done,
no one else will do it
I guess I’m the only one.

Then again . . .

The mess will just return
later on today,
the bills are late already
what harm is one more day?

No one’s gonna starve to death
if I don’t cook and prep and bake,
they can forage in the pantry
for something they can make.

And if they truly wanted
their laundry done each day,
they’d put it in the bin
instead of where they lay.

So . . .

I’m goin’ back to bed
to close my sleepy eyes,
I’ll do it all tomorrow
when the sun begins to rise.

Crystal R. Cook