Son-of-a-fugly-jackhole. People piss me off. Okay, maybe not you, but people in general. I am a loving, kind-hearted, compassionate, and caring bitch of a good person and yet I have a difficult time extending these amazing qualities to the majority of the people I am forced to walk the earth with, and yes, I am calling myself out as amazing . . . because I can.

Some people just seem to thrive on being as boorish as they can be. I don’t understand it. The thing that absolutely, positively, and undeniably upsets me most is the contagion factor of it all. They make me feel like they are acting when they fling their poo around like wild monkeys. It stinks and it sticks to you.

I don’t want to stink.

I’d like to walk around with a lovely little canister labeled Petulance Repellant or something preferably more witty, and spray the crap out of people with it. I would buy it in bulk.

I need to shake it off, or shower it away now because I have to brave the masses once more, I forgot what I originally went out to get. I got this. I can handle it. Just in case I lose it, is anyone willing to act as a character witness for me?

Click on the link below when you find yourself at odds with the human race. Humor helps.

http://www.pinterest.com/qwietpleez/funnies-misanthropic-bliss/