Another nightstand note found . . . I really am a drama queen in the darkest hours of a sleepless night.

Hopeless desperation
fills the endless hours
of my day,
painful longings
embrace me
in the darkest
hours of the night.

Something from the past
beckons, screaming out
to be remembered,
tempting me to believe
what I now need
is what I once had.

As yesterday tries
to swallow tomorrow
I scream out
in silent anguish,
dreams from
another lifetime
yearn to soar
but in the
wakeful moments
of my existence
they haven’t wings
to fly.

Dreams are best forgotten,
nothing more than
illusions and delusions
of what may have been
and what will never be,
leaving voids that
cannot be filled.

Wordless emotions
deafen me,
sunless shadows
leave me
without sight.

The air
which gives
me life
suffocates
and devours me.

Tears have
made their journey,
soaking into
the fabric
of my life,
leaving their
taste to linger
upon my lips.

I grasp for the
unreachable
not knowing
what it is,
coveting its
possession,
weeping for
my desire.

Am I living
my dream,
the ungrateful
recipient
of a gift
gone unseen?

One day
I will
clearly see
and the day
will not bind me,
the night
will have no hold,
ancient longings
will subside,
I will be lost
and desperate
no more.

Crystal R. Cook