Coffee Does Not Equal Food . . . I beg to differ my dear man.

Coffee Does Not Equal Food . . . I beg to differ my dear man.

I was sitting at my computer one morning, keys clicking and words pouring, when all of a sudden I get a pop-up. I hate those things so I always have them blocked, this one snuck right on by though, It said . . .

“Coffee does not equal food! I love you!”

First of all, coffee HAS to be a food group, they just forgot to give it its own spot on the pyramid. Secondly, I love you? That wasn’t creepy at all. Upon closer examination, I see my husband had found a way to set little alarm messages to pop up at certain times of the day. That was the first.

I tend to forget about the world around me when I sit down to write and I often forgo the essential snacks and meals I should partake of. I remember having two articles to write and without any conscious effort on my part, I think I managed to drink four cups of coffee, got all of my writing AND my proofreading done PLUS managed to squeeze in some time on Facebook. I did not however, eat anything but a few glucose tablets.

For some people, this may not be too terribly bad, but I happen to be diabetic, so my sugars are rather off when I have those days, it always gets my dear hubby a bit peeved. This time, he had dispensed with the lecture and simply set my computer to turn on me. The next day, there were more pop up messages for me.

“Put down the cup and eat something!”

Geesh, fine, I will. I grabbed a yogurt and sat back down, then something totally creepy happened. After a few bites and a few more sentences another message invaded the screen –

“One yogurt isn’t going to cut it! EAT!”

Does the man have cameras on me? Is there a P.I. outside a window or something? Am I really that predictable?

“Make some toast!”

FINE! Enough already, I have things to do! Toast in hand, crumbs on the keyboard and yogurt half empty I see –

“Put peanut butter on it!”

I kind of wanted to hurt him a little bit at this point so naturally, I made another cup of coffee. Next time he hacks my life center I’d better see some pop-ups saying things like, “I love you and I care for you and you are wonderful and I cherish and adore you blah, blah, blah.”

I suppose the messages he sent my way really meant the same thing. I still say coffee is a food though.

Crystal R. Cook

4 thoughts on “Coffee Does Not Equal Food . . . I beg to differ my dear man.

  1. Pingback: Dinner – 100 word challenge & my reasons why | The Qwiet Muse

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