Archives

I knew then . . .

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I remember laying
in the grass with you,
silently watching
the clouds.
We were still young,
innocent enough
to see the playful
shapes hidden
within them.
Our blanket was not
the grass green
from my childhood
color box,
it was not lush
and soft.
The sparse,
dry blades
sharply jutted up
between tiny,
wilting weeds.
My skin ached
where it touched
the prickly surface
of the earth,
but I did
not complain
because I was
with you.
When you
beckoned
for me to
snuggle in
close and rest
my head on your
sleeveless arm,
safe from the
discomfort below,
I knew that you
loved me then.

Crystal R. Cook

He deserves better than two-ply.

We no longer have little kids to fill Father’s Day with fun and laughter, so we make our own . . . happy Father’s Day my dear husband, I am still looking for the three-ply.

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I don’t know how to break this to you . . . But I got issued a National Defense Medal. I’m kind of a big deal . . .

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Boots

Boots by Crystal R. Cook

I remember writing this the night my husband returned home from Iraq, it was his third and last homecoming from that faraway place . . . He’s since retired, the sight of those boots laying there was one of the most beautiful things I can remember seeing.

Dust from another world,
soles worn from wear,
the color of sand,
wrinkled and creased
from the miles
marched in,
fought in,
slept in.

Dappled with the
darkened stains
from fallen sweat
and silent tears.

On the floor
by the bedside
they lay,
weary from war.

Worn with pride
ready again for service,
but now they rest
beside the bed where
the soldier sleeps.

Safe, loved,
home with me.

When tomorrow comes
a little boy
will wear the boots,
clumsily making his
way around the house.

He doesn’t know
where those
boots have been,
he just knows
they are his daddy’s
and he is home
again . . .

Crystal R. Cook

You better lock it up, buddy –

My husband usually comes home from work and comfortably slips into the same routine. He puts his motorcycle away, greets the doggies who are always at the door to welcome him home. He asks me how my day was as he takes off his boots, then changes into comfy clothes and grabs the remote to chill out for a while. Yesterday was different.

He came home, put away his motorcycle, greeted the doggies and asked me how my day was, but instead of taking off his boots, he sat down, phone in hand, and started playing a game. He doesn’t typically play games. At first, I thought he was simply tending to a text or looking up the best gas prices nearby, but then I heard the distinct sounds of gaming gunfire, sounds I usually only hear coming from the kid’s rooms.

I was busy writing, well, checking Facebook, but I was writing between the status updates and silly videos that required attention, but this is my story so we’re going to go with writing and make me sound more productive than I was actually being. I went back to what I was doing . . . I mean, working on. At least I tried to.

Listening to him play that game was completely commanding my attention, so much so, I could do nothing but listen at first. Then, I remembered I had a certain skill I could put to perfect use, transcription. I must say, this transcribing session was harder than most. I missed much of what was being said while trying not to laugh. The following is a basic transcription of my husbands one-sided dialogue while shooting zombies from a helicopter . . . I wish I had started sooner.

Husband: “What the hell is that? I’m scared. I don’t know what they did to that thing. I can hear it down there growling.”

(random gunfire and radio chatter)

Husband: “You better lock it up Buddy. You better watch your ass.”

(continued gunfire and radio chatter)

Husband: “Here comes another gorilla. Where are those gorillas coming from? Holy crap. No one told me about those!”

(radio warning regarding the loss of a civilian)

Husband: “Yeah, well, civilians should run faster then. 1 human kill. 8 saved. But what about that monster? I don’t get it. I need a howitzer.”

(radio chatter)

Husband: “Shut up kimoslabie. What the fuu . . . ? Yeah! That was a close call, that dummy jumped right in the mid . . . You guys are stupid.”

(gunfire)

Husband: “Whoa, wait. What the fuu?”

(indistinct chatter, more gunfire)

Husband: “Oh yeah! These guys are . . . I wish I could talk back on this thing. Why would you run right in the middle of zombies? Ooh, there’s gunfire, I’m gonna run right in the middle of it cuz I’m a stupid civilian. Just follow the zombies you morons.”

Command: “You kill one more civilian and we’re pulling you out.”

Husband: “Shut up. That one wasn’t worth living. You know what? Have it your way. I won’t kill any more civilians, but watch what that zombie’s gonna do to him cuz he’s an idiot.”

(No response from command)

Husband: “Oh geez. Hear it? Nice, you guys all huddle up and sing koombaya. Oh man. Damn it.”

End of transcript

A different kind of perfect.

Sometimes, a mishap is simply a mishap, easily fixed and forgotten. Other times, mishap is mayhem in the making, especially when it happens on what is meant to be the most perfect day of your life, the day you’d dreamed about since you were a little girl, the day that will mark the first day of the rest of your life. Your wedding day.

I suppose that’s just a wee bit dramatic, at least for me. I really didn’t have the wedding dreams many young girls seem to have, I honestly never gave it too much though until I knew I was going to be married. Even then, they were simple and sweet. Not too much muss, not too much fuss. Doable. My dream seemed so doable.

Often, the little blunders in life can seem like giant blunders in the midst of the havoc they create, but when the smoke settles and the dust clears, things are often not nearly as bad as they seemed in the moment. We had a bit of a mishap on our wedding day, nothing but our love turned out the way we thought it would.

We stood on the shores of a quiet ocean with soft breezes playfully pulling on my dress and tousling my hair. The warm beach sand beneath our bare feet felt soft as silk as we looked into each other’s eyes and promised forever. He looked regal in his dress uniform, medals twinkling in the fading sun. We sealed our love with a kiss as the sun dipped below the horizon, marking the end of the first day we would spend as husband and wife
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When I close my eyes and remember how I dreamed our wedding would be, this was how I dreamt it. The sun did set beautifully on the day wed, the rest . . . never actually happened. It was supposed to. It was my dream, but planned perfection is never as perfect as you plan it to be. The day ended as it was meant to, we did walk hand in hand into the future as husband and wife, my wedding day woes ended in happily ever after.

We met shortly before I turned sixteen, he was my first love, my only love and my last love. Years passed, we would go our separate ways and return again, but in the end, we decided to take our journey in life together. After a lifetime in Alaska, we decided to marry on a warm and sunny beach in Florida.

My grandmother helped me pick a beautiful dress. It looked as though it were crafted of delicious, silken cream and soft, billowy curtains of cloud. My soon to be husband was to wear his military finest; he was so very handsome when he donned his uniform. My best friend lived in Florida with her baby girl; she offered her tiny apartment as her gift to us. We were glad to have somewhere cozy, and I must admit, inexpensive, to stay.

Our first day there we drove around, seeing the sights and taking in the sun. We gazed upon the beach where we would soon wed. It was an amazing moment in time, surreal and long-awaited. We hardly rested at all that night, in part because we were anxious for morning, and maybe a little due to a bad case of, I don’t want to sleep syndrome, our youngest host seemed to be having.

When the morning came we were weary, but happy and ready to begin the next chapter of our lives together. I pulled my dress from its protective covering, but it no longer resembled silken cream or wispy cloud. It was a wrinkled up and unattractive version of its former self. As tears began to form in my eyes, my almost husband told me not to worry and helped me dry my tears.

We soon set off to find a dry cleaner to press my crinkled and crumpled dress. It was early. It was early on a Sunday morning. After driving to every dry cleaner in town only to see a closed sign on each door, we decided we would have a Monday morning ceremony on the beach instead of a Sunday evening one. The sun would be rising on the first day of our new life instead of setting on it, still sounded beautiful to me.

Planned perfection with a slight detour took us further than I’d expected. We decided we would get our license and set up the ceremony with the Justice of the Peace who would marry us. The office was in a rather run down strip mall. While we waited in line I heard the rumblings from my so, so, soon husband’s stomach, the sound seemed to be echoing my own. My friend’s daughter was on the cranky side from self-imposed lack of sleep, and the poor darling was hungry as well.

By the time we reached the desk she was practically wailing. We filled out the paperwork, signed here and signed there and waited for the woman with the power to place her seal upon it. While waiting, my friend jokingly said, “I’ll give you twenty bucks if you do it right now.” Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, perhaps the lack of nourishment, or the frustration brought about by the demise of the aforementioned planned perfection, but before we knew it, we were standing before a Justice of the Peace in the back of the dingy little office.

As she began, she told us to grasp hands and look into each other’s eyes. This must be code for start crying, because my friend’s daughter began to howl like a banshee, as we waited for her to calm I began to giggle. My love began to giggle. My now crying friend threw her hands up and began to laugh along, thankfully, so did her daughter.

The woman waiting to lead us into wedded bliss was not laughing however. She wasn’t even smiling. I don’t know how, but we made it through our vows, the four of us trying unsuccessfully not to laugh. She pronounced us man and wife and rolled her eyes as she sent us on our way. Unbeknownst to us, we had gathered quite an audience. A few said congratulations, a few refused eye contact and one said “It’ll never last.”, while yet another scolded us, saying, “Marriage is no laughing matter.”

We were married, we were happy and we were hungry. Twenty bucks was just enough to pay the girl at the McDonald’s drive thru window. We spent the rest of our day at Universal Studios and ended it by driving past the beautiful beach I had seen in my dreams. It would have been a lovely wedding.

Of course our parents were about as thrilled as the lady who led us in our vows, we have no wedding pictures aside from one we took in the old-fashioned photo studio at the theme park. We did dress in vintage wedding clothes which were much fancier than the shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops we were actually married in. The pictures we snapped during our day show a young couple having fun, we look happy and although I sometimes wish things had gone the way we’d planned, I wouldn’t trade that day or my memories of it for anything.

I did get a free spa package out of the deal a few years ago from a radio station for sharing my story. It was a welcome bit of pampering. I wish I could find the man who said it wouldn’t last and tell him just how long it has. I wish the woman who told us marriage was no laughing matter could see how much joy those moments of laughter have given us.

Now, my idea of planned perfection is whatever God has in store for us . . .

Crystal R. Cook

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Coffee Does Not Equal Food . . . I beg to differ my dear man.

Coffee Does Not Equal Food . . . I beg to differ my dear man.

I was sitting at my computer one morning, keys clicking and words pouring, when all of a sudden I get a pop-up. I hate those things so I always have them blocked, this one snuck right on by though, It said . . .

“Coffee does not equal food! I love you!”

First of all, coffee HAS to be a food group, they just forgot to give it its own spot on the pyramid. Secondly, I love you? That wasn’t creepy at all. Upon closer examination, I see my husband had found a way to set little alarm messages to pop up at certain times of the day. That was the first.

I tend to forget about the world around me when I sit down to write and I often forgo the essential snacks and meals I should partake of. I remember having two articles to write and without any conscious effort on my part, I think I managed to drink four cups of coffee, got all of my writing AND my proofreading done PLUS managed to squeeze in some time on Facebook. I did not however, eat anything but a few glucose tablets.

For some people, this may not be too terribly bad, but I happen to be diabetic, so my sugars are rather off when I have those days, it always gets my dear hubby a bit peeved. This time, he had dispensed with the lecture and simply set my computer to turn on me. The next day, there were more pop up messages for me.

“Put down the cup and eat something!”

Geesh, fine, I will. I grabbed a yogurt and sat back down, then something totally creepy happened. After a few bites and a few more sentences another message invaded the screen –

“One yogurt isn’t going to cut it! EAT!”

Does the man have cameras on me? Is there a P.I. outside a window or something? Am I really that predictable?

“Make some toast!”

FINE! Enough already, I have things to do! Toast in hand, crumbs on the keyboard and yogurt half empty I see –

“Put peanut butter on it!”

I kind of wanted to hurt him a little bit at this point so naturally, I made another cup of coffee. Next time he hacks my life center I’d better see some pop-ups saying things like, “I love you and I care for you and you are wonderful and I cherish and adore you blah, blah, blah.”

I suppose the messages he sent my way really meant the same thing. I still say coffee is a food though.

Crystal R. Cook