Why can’t I remember?

Aug2

I know there was something
I wanted to say,
it was there for a moment
then it slipped away.

Oh! Now I remember!
No . . . that can’t be it.
I’m sure it’ll come to me,
just give me a bit.

Now what was I doing
when I first forgot?
If I could retrace my steps
it would help quite a lot.

If only I knew,
but I just can’t recall,
my poor mind is blank
and I can’t think at all.

Oh, just forget it.
I don’t have the time
to dust off these cobwebs
that have formed in my mind.

If it was important
I’ll remember tonight
when I close my eyes
and snuggle in tight.

My sleep will be robbed
and my mind will spark,
it always happens
as I lay in the dark.

I really wish I knew
why all my days are spent
trying to remember
where my thoughts have went.

Well, just never you mind
what I was going to say,
I’ll let you know what it was
if I remember it someday . . .

Crystal R. Cook

Mothers – Remembering who you are.

Aug2

Picasso – Mother and Child

I remember well the first time I left my son; it was only for a short time. But in that short time I went from feeling euphoric joy to terrible anguish. I was gone all of ten minutes. I knew he was safe in the arms of my mother and yet I found myself weeping before I made it home. I held him and kissed his precious forehead vowing I would never leave him again. In the early stages of parenting I felt terrible guilt if I even considered leaving my children, it was unfounded and unnecessary, but you couldn’t have convinced me of it then.

Fast forward and three more precious babes later, and you’ve got a mom who doesn’t mind hopping into the car for a few trips alone to the store. Ironically, when I do get out for the occasional shopping day I usually end up looking at things I know they would love. When in the company of others, the topic of conversation inevitably steers toward all things children. I must admit I miss them when I am gone. I like being with them . . . most of the time. I can now say without the weight of unfounded guilt, it’s okay to take some time for myself when I need it.

Everyone needs a little respite now and again. Sometimes we need it from our kids and sometimes they need it from us. Truthfully, there are times I think they need it more than we do. There is nothing wrong with breathing a sigh of relief as you listen to the silence surrounding you when the kids are away from the house.

As a stay at home mother of four fabulous kids who are now no longer little, I can say without hesitation or guilt, I look forward to those fleeting moments of solace. I can’t take it for too long though . . . I need to hear the life and laughter they bring, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t nice every now and then to have the house all to myself. For most parents at this stage, their nest is emptying. My little birdies have yet to all take flight, they are still learning to spread their wings.

As mothers we need time to ourselves, many of us won’t admit it though. I know from experience if I am tired or overwhelmed I am not going to be the most patient or nurturing mother I could be. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact it was okay to be away from them for a short while. Once I did it though, and all of the awful things I had imagined happening didn’t happen, I realized it felt good, a different kind of good, a need to get used to, kind of good, but good nonetheless.

Once we become mothers we tend to forget we are so much more than mothers still. We are women. We are wives and friends and daughters. We need to keep those parts of us alive and well if we are to be whole. The day is going to come when our children become people and begin to spread the wings we’ve watched grow, we have to know who we are so when they take flight we know we still have purpose and relevance in life.

I think I would be doing my kids a terrible injustice if I never took a bit of time for myself . . . If I don’t know who I am then they will never really know me either. The older they get, the more I realize they are watching me, learning from me. I want them to learn how to be everything they can be. Long ago I put so many pieces of who I was up on a shelf so high I could no longer reach them. Ironically, my children are the ones who pulled them down for me; they are the ones who reminded me I was more than I thought I was.

I remembered I was a wife, I remembered I was a writer and an artist, I remembered I was an individual, and in the beginning these things terrified me, but as time passed I began to cherish these parts of who I once was and began incorporating them into my life. I will always, always be a mother, no one ever told me it wasn’t all I could be, if they did, I certainly didn’t heed their words. When my children are out and about or when the night has come and they lay safe in their beds I treasure the time I have to get to know myself again.

It took me a long time to reach the realization that it is not only okay for us to steal away now and again, it is vital. Spiritual and emotional healing is found in moments of solitude, we have to tend to the woman within, the one which will remain once the children have grown. She needs to be nurtured just as our children do.

Stealing a few moments in time to sit in quiet reflection, read a book, nurture a talent or simply take a nice long shower can only make you a better you, and in turn, a better mother . . .

Crystal R. Cook

He is changing the world every day.

Aug1

On page 26 in the book Chicken Soup for the Preteen Soul (Published in 2000), you will find a little piece of my son’s heart. It is his perfect ending to the statement “If I could change the world for the better I would . . . “

He found the call for submissions on a website and sent his thoughts in. His quote was chosen for inclusion and he received an autographed copy of the book and a check for twenty dollars, he was on top of the world, published and rich at 9 years old.

So, on page 26, right below Justin Timberlake and a little girl named Scarlett, you will find these words describing how my son would change the world for the better . . .

“Help people realize that people like me who learn differently and do things differently than them are still really the same underneath it all. We want to be liked and smiled at.

Wilson Cook, nine

This was the same year he received his official diagnosis of Autism. I hope his wish for a better world comes true.

Journalism Today

Aug1

“Journalism can never be silent: that is its greatest virtue and its greatest fault.”- Henry Anatole Grunwald

True journalism is both a craft and a profession. I’ve long respected those who travel with pen in hand to bring news and information to all. Without journalists we would be lost in a sea of misinformed confusion. Of course, there are those who could argue we actually are lost in a sea of misinformed confusion brought on by those who wear the guise of journalistic integrity.

The dictionary gives more than one definition for the word journalism.

(1) The occupation of reporting, writing, editing, photographing or broadcasting news or of conducting any news organization as a business.

(2) Writing that reflects superficial thought and research, a popular slant and hurried composition, conceived of as exemplifying topical newspaper or magazine writing as distinguished from scholarly writing.

I fear the first definition will soon become no more than a simple eulogy for a noble profession which was once respected and much-needed. Journalism used to require passion and diligence. It required dedication and talent. True journalists are a dying breed. Not only did they research their facts, they wove their words carefully, keeping their personal opinions for the editorial pages. There are still those who endeavor to maintain the essence of journalism, but they are among a dying breed.

It can be argued there have always been those who sullied the profession with half-truths and misinformation, an argument which would be hard refute. The art of journalism has been caught up in an increasingly downward spiral toward the fast paced, one-sided, in your face reporting being touted as journalism today.

Ellen Goodman summed it up simply when she said, “In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right.”

The second definition best describes what seems to be taking place in today’s journalism industry. Write what sells. Go ahead and throw in your personal views and make speculations. Today it’s all about the headline, the writing itself seems to be secondary to the topic. Write it, don’t worry about writing it well, just write it. The public is being misinformed and seems content to be remain blissfully uninformed by the steady decline in journalistic morality.

To be honest, it’s frightening.

“There is much to be said in favour of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.” – Oscar Wilde certainly had a way with words.

A good journalist has to be a writer. Many of today’s bylines are given to anyone who can type. I respect the restraint a journalist has to maintain the integrity of whatever piece they are working on, the ones who do not put words to a page until they know it to be fact. In recent years there have been more than one respected journalist shift to the other side. Sad but true, you just can’t believe everything you read.

I applaud those who have remained true to the art of journalism, they are indeed craftsmen worthy of admiration and accolade.

Crystal R.Cook

The day she found it.

Jul31

I have a dear friend, we couldn’t be more different, yet somehow perfect for each other. She swears like a sailor, I don’t. She is extroverted, I am introverted. She is loud, I am quiet. We’ve been friends since high school and I love her dearly.

Now, my friend can be a bit dramatic at times. Every year she has an age crisis, she’s convinced herself several times she will be passing away very soon. Little things can become very big things and when they do, she always calls me to assure her they are not as bad as they seem.

One such phone call left me in tears, the kind that stream from your eyes during a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Actually, it was a series of calls spanning nearly an entire day.

When I answered the phone she sounded angry, then sad, then angry again. It took me a couple of minutes to pry out of her just what it was that had her so upset. We talked for some time, she cried, I laughed at her. She called me a bitch, I called her an old lady. Before the sun set, we were both laughing and her world was turned right side up again.

I wrote her a poem about her day, as her friend I felt it was my duty to immortalize her ordeal. I was certainly not going to ever let her forget it.

I know a young woman
whose hair was blonde
until the day, that is,
she happened upon
a single gray hair
near the top of her head,
What the heck is this?
she angrily said.
When did this happen?
How can this be?
I wonder if anyone’s
seen this on me?
Should I pull it out?
Will it grow right back,
bringing more of its kind
in some sneak attack?
But then a light bulb appeared
up over her head,
she looked at that hair
and said, I’ll kill you dead.
She packed up the kids
and went straight to the store,
To the beauty department!
she said with a roar.
‘Wash away your gray
in a few simple steps’,
That’s just what I need,
that’s the one I will get.
As she lathered it on,
she said her goodbye,
so long gray hair,
I said that you’d DYE!

Crystal R. Cook

Scientific discovery.

Jul30

This week in science . . .

Researchers have have come to the painfully obvious conclusion that a quick knuckle tap is going to spread less germs than a full on hand melding.

My philosophy is simple, don’t touch people, you don’t know where they’ve been.

How about a smile and a head nod while holding your breath?

I wonder if you do the fist-bump followed by the explosive release of all five fingers you can fling off any germs that did make contact. Someone should study that. They should.

Touching, especially prolonged touching, spreads germs.

Good to know. I’m still not going to fist-bump.

Scientists discover fist-bumps to be more hygienic than handshakes

London (AFP) – Fist bumps are more hygienic than handshakes and drastically reduce the risk of spreading infectious diseases, researchers in Britain have found.

The study discovered that a handshake transfers 10 times as much bacteria as a fist bump, following a series of tests at Aberystwyth University on the west coast of Wales.

Doctor Dave Whitworth, who led the research, said the study could have a serious impact on public health.

“People rarely think about the health implications of shaking hands. But if the general public could be encouraged to fist bump, there is a genuine potential to reduce the spread of infectious diseases.”

Researchers were able to measure the movement of germs using sterile rubber gloves, one of which was dipped into a coating of the potentially deadly E. coli bacteria, before exchanging a range of greeting gestures.

The results of the research, published in the American Journal of Infection Control, showed that handshakes passed on far more of the dangerous bacteria than fist bumps or high fives.

The number of germs moving between people was reduced by more than half during a high five and 90 percent in a fist bump.

Experiments also found that a firmer handshake increased the level of bacteria shared between palms.

Fist bumps, famously employed by US President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle, are thought to be more hygienic due to their shorter duration and smaller contact area.

The study was inspired by the increasing promotion of cleanliness in the workplace, including the growing use of hand-sanitisers and keyboard disinfectants.

I just love satire.

Jul30

I’ve grown weary of ridiculous satire pieces being shared as fact. I love satiric writing, I do, but sites like the Daily Currant and The Onion take things too far sometimes. At the very least, they should have a disclaimer at the bottom of the fictional follies they publish bold enough for those who do not possess the satirical savvy required to prevent them from believing everything they read without question.

If you come upon an article from one of these delightfully distasteful sites, PLEASE do not forward as fact or get your panties in a bunch about it.

Satire – noun

1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc..

2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.

A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.

Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.

List of satirical sites offering up doses of delusion for your reading pleasure . . . I realize this describes just about every news source these days, but these are the ones who admit it.

http://www.nationalreport.net
http://www.theonion.com
http://www.private-eye.co.uk
http://www.newsbiscuit.com
http://www.thespoof.com
http://www.sportspickle.com
http://www.unconfirmedsources.com
http://www.crystalair.com
http://www.enduringvision.com
http://www.derfmagazine.com
http://www.newsmutiny.com
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk
http://www.duffelblog.com
http://www.newstoad.net
http://www.dailycurrant.com
http://www.rockcitytimes.com
http://www.lightlybraisedturnip.com
http://www.christwire.com
http://www.cap-news.com
http://www.texascockroach.com
http://www.borowitzreport.com
http://www.thedailyrash.com

I am certain there are many, many more . . . Please feel free to add to the list in comments.

From the Daily Currant –

The Daily Currant is an English language online satirical newspaper that covers global politics, business, technology, entertainment, science, health and media. It is accessible from over 190 countries worldwide – now including South Sudan.

Our mission is to ridicule the timid ignorance which obstructs our progress, and promote intelligence – which presses forward.

Q. Are your news stories real?

A. No. Our stories are purely fictional. However they are meant to address real-world issues through satire and often refer and link to real events happening in the world

Not real folks, NOT REAL!

Crystal R. Cook

Parade of Fools

Jul30

Conformity is not my norm,
I’ve no desire to fit in.
Societal expectations
are not my thing.
I try to understand
the hunger for acceptance
I see so many
willingly sacrificing
themselves upon alters
of false pretenses to obtain,
but the reasons I seek
elude me.
Shall I slit my own wrists
and allow my essence
to drain, pooling into
the festering puddle
of a fictitious existence?
Shall I don a mask
which doesn’t quite fit
to blend in with the faceless
crowds blindly following
an unseen leader?
A reclusive ghost, this non-existent
circus master serves as shepherd
to a lost flock, leading them
to slaughter with delusive promises,
empty platitudes and hollow hopes.
They follow without question,
shedding their individuality
like clothing too tattered to wear.
A fools parade,
I cannot follow.

Crystal R.Cook

Wilson Wisdom – Autism, spoken VS written word, & anxiety.

Jul29

When Autistics speak, we need to listen . . .

Being autistic, it is sometimes hard for me to put my feelings into words using my voice, but with the written word I can say things much easier since I can see what I say and correct anything that I misspoke before anyone else can see it. Sometimes things that are bothering me I won’t talk about because I can’t put it into spoken words, if I try to, my point either comes off as not as I intended or it is misinterpreted because of the words I used.

To put it in a way easier to understand, when I speak it’s like a game of Scrabble, but instead of letter tiles I have word tiles, if some of the words I need are not available and I have to use similar words to get my point across it can lead to confusion. When I write I have access to all the tiles at once and it’s simple for my thoughts to come out, I still make mistakes, but not as much.

If I feel anxious I tend to deal with it on my own and tell no one since it is even harder to say what I need and I only bring it up when it is either resolved or when I really can’t do it on my own and I need someone else to help me.

When it comes to autism, the people around those with autism need to be vigilant about the mental state of the autistic person. With me, I can handle most things on my own and have an understanding of how my anxiety works (Some forms of my own anxiety require me to let it run its course when none of the other methods I have learned to use work or make it worse) but others may not have this understanding and cannot get through without help, mine comes from years of having to deal with it and with the help of my Mom (Crystal Cook) teaching me methods and helping me through them.

Some younger autistics have not yet learned to put such information to use so it is up to those around them to notice these moments of anxiety and help them through it, if you’re close to someone with autism I am sure you know the signs, I would list some, but not everyones signals are the same. For me personally it is just an anxious feeling or the feeling of dread or just full on confusion, each one has its own type of “Cure” and sometimes I just have to wait it out. If a person hasn’t figured them out on their own it is up to you to teach them to identify and conquer them.

For the past week I have had an anxious feeling that have been growing little by little each day. I believe it is cause by a mixture of changes happening around me and some just regular random anxiety that comes with the disorder I have. I have done every one of my usual “Cures” (Including talking to my Mom) and none of them have worked, that leaves letting it continue running its course and try again later if it continues to long.

Remember what I have said about keeping an eye on an Autistics anxiety tells, if you don’t help them discover them and learn how to conquer them they might never learn on their own.

Wilson Cook