Tag Archive | determination

Bête Noire #OctPoWriMo (Day 5 of 31)

DAY 5

(It’s still day 8, in which I kind of, sort of cheat) I #AmWriting, but it took on a life of its own and became something else, for some other time, SO, I tiptoed into the archives and borrowed some old words to replace the ones I was going to use )

Prompt – I Finally Understand

Anxiety – I’ve come to an understanding . . . I will never fully understand it. BUT, I now can recognize and fight it when it pays a visit.

* * *

If I knew why the world
sometimes crumbles,
when the earth
neath my feet is sound,

I might forget to fall.

If I could see
the raging storm
was only a summer breeze
of a passing season,

I might not hide at all.

If I was certain
flood waters
were not rising too fast
for me to safely swim,

I might not have to drown.

If I could just believe
the fears I fear
were lies, unfounded,
figments of my mind,

I might keep both feet on the ground.

Confounding little voice, whispering in the mind
infinitesimal, insignificant – ultimately powerless . . .

until

acknowledged, fed – held close to the heart like mother nestling a babe, wrap it like a cloak, a chrysalis safe and warm, cower within till it torments no more . . .

except

it’s an illusion, a blanket of lies keeping the light veiled in shadow, growing heavy, heavier in the darkness, suffocating, stealing breath, parasitic thief consuming, devouring reality, regurgitating anxiety, apprehension and despair . . .

bête noire

undeserving of avowal, recognition, appellation . . . purge, disembogue, cast out, unbaptize, reject, refuse, restrain, dethrone the beast from lofty place to bowels of depths unknown . . .

rise

ascend past heights attainable by intrusive, binding thought,

look back and you will fall

spread wings of grace and you will soar.

~ finis ~

Crystal R. Cook

Previous Challenge Posts ~

#OctPoWriMo 2017

Day 1 – How Did You Get here?

Day 2 – We Write Because We Must

Day 3 – Cherita Poem – Metal

Memories on a flash drive – That last photo – pure gold!

May14

One of my favorite things in life is coming across memories I’d almost forgotten were safely tucked away somewhere inside of me. This one found its way back to me while I was looking for a different memory on an old flash drive, the little file folder on the screen was practically begging to be clicked, and when I obliged the little voice compelling me to take a peek inside, I was instantly filled with the joys of a long ago day and the memories rushed in like a rushing wave, eager to meet the shore.

I no longer recall the occasion, but the day is etched into my heart. The kids explored and played and rode dirt bikes with their dad while I sat with my notebook and favorite pen, recording whatever thoughts I happened to think as I watched the day unfold.

The set of pictures I found in that file made me smile, they made me laugh – the little man captured in photographic forever is now a man, mostly. He’ll be eighteen this month. The last of my babies to step into adulthood. I still see the little boy in these pictures when I look at him sometimes, I have a feeling if he were to stand atop that same hill now, he would no doubt smile that same little smile and take the leap . . .

He stood there at the top of the hill yelling “Mommy! Watch, I’m gonna jump over that cable.” I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea but he was already running. I figured I’d snap a few photos . . . I got a pretty good shot if him at the start of his run.

He was cruising down that hill, you could see that he was going faster than he wanted to, once that momentum starts, it only picks up speed. His little legs were moving so fast.

Gravity got the best of him and he ended his stunt with a face full of dust. He took it like a man though and then he marched right back up there and gave it another shot . . . boys.

He did it. He jumped the cable just like he said he would ~ Stinker.

I can’t help but giggle just a little every time I look at these pictures :o)

Bête Noire

Aug30

If I knew why the world
sometimes crumbles,
when the earth
neath my feet is sound,

I might forget to fall.

If I could see
the raging storm
was only a summer breeze
of a passing season,

I might not hide at all.

If I was certain
flood waters
were not rising too fast
for me to safely swim,

I might not have to drown.

If I could just believe
the fears I fear
were lies, unfounded,
figments of my mind,

I might keep both feet on the ground.

confounding little voice, whispering in the mind
infinitesimal, insignificant – ultimately powerless . . .

until

acknowledged, fed – held close to the heart like mother nestling a babe, wrap it like a cloak, a chrysalis safe and warm, cower within till it torments no more . . .

except

bête noire

undeserving of avowal, recognition, appellation . . . purge, disembogue, cast out, unbaptize, reject, refuse, restrain, dethrone the beast from lofty place to bowels of depths unknown . . .

rise

ascend past heights attainable by intrusive, binding thought, look back and you will fall –

spread wings of grace and soar.

~ finis ~

Crystal R. Cook