Tag Archive | New Year

Letting go – again – to start anew . . . 2016

Crystal R. Cook

Letting go

of fear,

of doubt –

(again)

of what if,

what was,

and what is yet to be.

Letting go of all the

things

I’ve let grab hold of me.

(again)

Casting off the shackles

I’ve somehow bound myself within,

shedding and discarding

them like forgiven sin.

Once more, again

the slate is cleansed

with freshly fallen tears,

of mourning,

rejoicing,

of hellos

and of goodbyes,

of memories and moments

falling from my eyes.

(again)

And lo, a new year dawns

when the last tear

is shed and wiped away,

another new beginning

ushers in a brand new day.

(again)

Crystal R. Cook

21 terrible things I did in 2015

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Coming clean, clearing the slate, confessing, purging, owning up . . . I did some awful things in 2015. Some of them were honest mistakes and unintended mishaps, but some of them were choices. Bad choices, and in effort to start this new year with a clean conscience I must own up to them.

This isn’t easy for me. I’m not a bad person. I’m only human, of flesh and blood I’m made. I’m only human, born to make mistakes. Thank you, Human League, for lending those lines of perfect subterfuge to the world.

I’d like to say I fully intend to atone for my wrongdoings, but the truth is – I probably won’t. Confession is good for the soul they say, I’ll just do that and try to do better this new year. It’s not like I broke any major laws or caused irreparable harm in some way, unless you count the couple of dishes I broke (and didn’t own up to).

Alright, might as well get this over with. Don’t judge me too harshly, you’re only human too.

1 – I went through the 15 items or less line with more than fifteen items. Twice.

2 – I stayed in my bed and my jammies all day and watched a Snapped marathon on the ID Channel then told my husband I was still in bed because I wasn’t feeling well.

3 – I told my husband I needed to get a gift at Barnes and Noble for a friend and bought three books for myself. I forgot the gift.

4 – I told my family the chicken I’d taken out for dinner was freezer burned so I didn’t have to cook dinner. We had pizza.

5 – I told my doctor I’d been drinking lots of water. I didn’t tell her half of it was coffee flavored.

6 – I let my phone go to voicemail when I wasn’t too busy to answer it.

7 – I told my husband the art supplies I bought at Michael’s were on sale, I may have misspoke – the truth is, they were for sale.

8 – I spilled a cup of coffee on the floor and blamed it on the dogs.

9 – I spilled a bowl of soup on the floor and blamed it on the dogs.

10 – I spilled a cup of soda on the floor and blamed it on the dogs.

11 – I bought cookies and hid them from everyone.

12 – I clicked like on a Facebook post without reading it.

13 – I did not read the terms and conditions before agreeing to them.

14 – I used the word literally when I should have said figuratively.

15 – I cheated on a Buzzfeed test to get a better answer.

16 – I had to re-run more than one load of laundry because I was too lazy to put it in the dryer in time.

17 – I forgot to water the plants. Most of the summer.

18 – I threw away leftovers . . . and the containers they were in.

19 – I didn’t always pay attention when people were talking to me.

20 – I answered more than one question with ‘I don’t know’ so I didn’t have to keep talking.

21 – I took pictures of an article in a magazine instead of buying it.

There may be more.

It feels good to get that off my chest. I’m not gonna lie, I may make the same mistakes in 2016.

A new year already?

Happy New Year

 

Time to close the chapter on another year, it went by quite quickly. So many clichés come to mind. Clichés may be trite, but they sometimes speak volumes of truth, time really does fly.

This past year seemed to soar by particularly quickly, I’m not entirely certain if that is a positive or a negative. It was a decent enough year, nothing too terribly terrible to report.

I didn’t make any huge life changes, it wasn’t an easy year, but it wasn’t the hardest I’ve had. If I seem apathetic I suppose it’s because I am in a small way. I didn’t realize that until just now. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful because I am so much more than thankful for every single moment I was blessed with over the past 365 days.

It would sound incredibly selfish if I were to say I wish it had been different. Well, here I am, sounding selfish. I do wish it had been different. I wish certain things had happened and I wish others had not. I wish I could have spent more time feeling well and less time just trying to get through each day.

I wish I could have helped my children strengthen their wings enough to fly. I wish I would have written more letters, called more old friends, and let myself become lost in more moments of wonder. I wish the world was a better place.

At least I didn’t break any of last years resolutions, mostly because I didn’t make any. I never do. That old saying, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, may be a bit on the dramatic side, but it’s pretty spot on. I know I’m not heading to hell, but I also know resolutions are nothing more than really good intentions which ultimately litter the roadside of whatever path we are traveling.

While I may sound like someone in need of a good therapy session, I assure you, I’m good. I know just how beautiful my life is, after all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Another great cliché right? I am alive. My family is well, my children are continuing to learn and grow and find their place in this world. My beautiful daughter began a new life as a new wife. I hear my mother’s voice on the phone every day. My husband brings me coffee each morning and the sun never fails to rise.

God is good and I know whatever this new year brings, He will provide me with the grace I need to face whatever comes my way.