Top Ten Tuesday – Books I Will Probably Never Read

May5

So I stumbled upon this post over at Part Time Monster – I suppose stumbled upon is misleading, I saw a link for a new post and clicked right over, because there is always something good to read over there.

Anyway ~ That site led me to this site, The Broke and the Bookish and their weekly Top Ten Tuesday feature, and I kind of fell in love, because . . . books. It’s all about the books. I’m bookish and they’re bookish, so naturally I love them. I love lists too. Of course, I typically lose every list I write, but this one will be different because it’s here, not lost somewhere between my purse and the grocery store.

Today’s Top Ten Tuesday list is 10 Books I Will Probably Never Read

Now I love to read, and it hurts me to admit this, but there are some books I will likely never read, some I know I will never read, and some I will read and wish I hadn’t . . . maybe.

My List of Top Ten Books I will Probably Never Read

Fifty Shades of Grey

Because . . . no. Just no.

The Twilight Series

Vampires don’t sparkle.

Because clowns.

Gone With The Wind

Not interested much in historical fiction, or romance, or romantic historical fiction.

Atlas Shrugged

I don’t care who John Galt is.

John Green Books

I love Mental Floss, but not books about teen angst, love, or drama.

Game of Thrones Books

I’ve heard about the show, violence and incest . . . pass.

Any and ALL romance novels

I just can’t . . . so cheesy.

The Da Vinci Code

Eh, don’t care for Biblical+fiction

The Sleeping Beauty Series

Holy crap, that’s why! I read just a bit and felt the need to cleanse my brain and confess my sin.

Happy Mother’s Day. I may have peed a little the first time I watched this

May5

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

I hope your day is filled with smiles and hugs and lots of love

I have posted this video around Mother’s Day for years, it is one of my absolute favorite videos of all time. I have seen it about 37 gazzilion times, and it never gets old. Mother’s Day!

Pay the toll or ride once more . . .

May5

Here we go again.

The world’s begun to spin,

round and round

and round it goes,

and here we go again.

The carousel

appeared before me,

filling me with fright.

I think . . . I thought

I know . . . I knew,

something

wasn’t

right.

A phantasmic carnie asked,

“Do want a ride?”

I never met his gaze

though I’m certain I declined,

but he lifted me,

and without warning

I was spinning, spinning,

spinning,

under his control,

and when the ride

came to an end,

he held out

his gnarled hand,

demanding to have his toll.

Inside my head

I continued to spin

I’ve no reason to pay,

I didn’t ask to play,

there’s no payment

I owe to him.

Still he stood,

and asked again,

“Do you want a ride?”

His hollow eyes

stared through me,

and his lips curled

into a twisted

sort of grin.

He said,

“Pay the toll,

or ride once more,

then we’ll talk again.”

I don’t quite know

how many times

I went round and round

and round

before I woke,

but when I did

he stood before me,

and once again

he spoke.

“Pay me what I’m due,

and you may take your leave.”

I found my voice,

and screamed in silence,

“I haven’t anything,

not even a penny

for which to pay.

I don’t know

what it is

you seem to

want from me.

Won’t you please,

just please,

I’m begging you

to turn and go away.”

He threw back his head

with a wicked laugh

and said, “Why should I

be the one to go?

Don’t you know?

It was you – It was you

who came to me.

Silly child, open your eyes,

see what you can see.”

And then I remembered

I’d been given a choice

when anxiety came to call

I could have stood

against it,

I could have fought

with all my might,

but I faltered

and I fell

and I cowered

from the fight.

I opened my eyes

to look upon

what I’d been too

afraid to see.

I steadied my heart,

I stood to my feet,

but when I looked,

there was nothing,.

Nothing

waited there

for me.

Crystal R. Cook

Paradoxical Madness – and the battle strengthens me

May5

Weakness

begets

strength.

Paradoxical madness

I could do without.

Interminable battle,

victory unattainable.

Eternal conflict rages

betwixt prostration

and fortitude.

Languor triumphs,

vitiating valor,

though – conquest

is fleeting

as perseverance

reclaims reign.

And the struggle

makes me strong.

Paradoxical madness

I could do without.

Crystal R. Cook

Too many tabs & brilliantly crazy.

May3

I have 38 tabs open on my laptop. Telling you because . . . reasons. I don’t know what those reasons are, but there simply must be reasons. There’s a reason for everything, so they say.

Are these 38 tabs a sign of laziness? Perhaps. Or brilliance? It could be brilliance. It certainly could. Maybe I need an abnormal amount of tabs open to keep my mind occupied. The information hidden beneath those tabs is fuel for my all-consuming need for knowledge.

Hold on – I randomly checked a few of them, two of them were cat videos and one was an ad for car insurance that must have popped up. Twitter, my email account, and my blog are open, as is Pinterest and a Google search page for why tortoises eat their own crap all the frickin time, but still, I’m quite certain the remaining 30 tabs will reveal something with at least a morsel of intellectual substance I have previously fed upon or intended to digest at some point.

Or, it truly is laziness. No, it’s virtual hoarding. I know, that’s what Pinterest is for, but my disease has obviously mutated and now I can’t click off of web pages because of some recent brain altering trauma. Omigosh. I did, in fact, have a recent brain altering trauma that makes this make perfect sense, I think.

Actually it doesn’t, but still . . . it might, maybe, possibly, in some small way have something to do with it. It could. See, I had several – more than 10, less than 38 – pages open last week, pages I was using for research, and I clicked something I guess I shouldn’t have clicked-and-they-all-disappeared-and-I-couldn’t-retrieve-them-and-I-accidentally-deleted-my-history-while-looking-for-them-and-I-was-panicked-and-I-may-have-cried-a-little-and suffered-a-mini-meltdown — hence my new found apprehension and reluctance to close the open tabs on my computer, which makes no sense really, since having them all opened and unsaved led to their loss.

I no longer have any idea what I am trying to say. I’m trying to cut back on coffee, it must be withdrawal symptoms. Maybe a glass of wine would help. Do they make caffeinated wine?

In conclusion, I am not lazy, I am crazy. And brilliant. Brilliantly crazy. And if you just read all this nonsense, you likely are as well. Oh, you should probably open this in a new tab . . .

PSA – Updated – Satire my a**

Apr27

Updated –

I’ve grown weary of ridiculous satire pieces being shared as fact. I love satiric writing, I do, but sites like the Daily Currant and The Onion and the others listed below simply take things too far.

At the very least, they should have a disclaimer at the bottom of the fictional follies they publish bold enough for those who do not possess the satirical savvy required to prevent them from believing everything they read without question.

If you come upon an article from one of these ~~delightfully~~ distasteful sites, PLEASE do not forward as fact or get your panties in a bunch about it. A bit of advice? Check out your sources, fact check. Easy peasy.

Personally, I don’t find the humor these sites purport to purvey. Seriously, one of them offers up a user friendly celebrity death hoax generator. Sadly, true satire seems to be a dying art. Satire is meant to be humorous, filled with irony and wit, good satire can actually have meaning. Today, satire is filled with sensationalist titles and scare tactics and too often incite people to anger and offence.

They keep using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means.

Satire – noun

1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc..

2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.

A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.

Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.

List of satirical sites offering up doses of delusion for your reading pleasure . . . I realize this describes just about every news source these days, but these are the ones who admit it.

http://www.nationalreport.net

http://www.theonion.com

http://www.private-eye.co.uk

http://www.newsbiscuit.com

http://www.thespoof.com

http://www.sportspickle.com

http://www.unconfirmedsources.com

http://www.crystalair.com

http://www.enduringvision.com

http://www.derfmagazine.com

http://www.newsmutiny.com

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk

http://www.duffelblog.com

http://www.newstoad.net

http://www.dailycurrant.com

http://www.rockcitytimes.com

http://www.lightlybraisedturnip.com

http://www.christwire.com

http://www.cap-news.com

http://www.texascockroach.com

http://www.borowitzreport.com

http://www.thedailyrash.com

http://feednewz.com

http://empirenews.net

http://www.freewoodpost.com

http://global-associated-news

http://en.mediamass.net

http://weeklyworldnews.com

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com

http://theracketreport.com

http://www.thenewsnerd.com

http://www.larknews.com

I know there are many, many more . . . Please feel free to add to the list.

Crystal R. Cook

Seeking, searching – inspiration

Apr27

I play hide and seek

with inspiration

pursuing fickle muse

through darkened labyrinth

in dauntless expectation

She scatters thoughts

like falling leaves

and frenzied shooting stars

besprinkling each path I’m on

with quickly fading vestiges

of partial revelations

I perceive only from afar

They disappear

as I draw near

neath my feet

lay naught but dirt

where once there was

a star

Searching, seeking

lost, lamenting

My feckless quest

is near its end

the day is fading

the night is calling

Perhaps tomorrow

she will be my friend

Crystal R. Cook

Something to think about, I think.

Apr25

I think I’m tired of thinking

I may just give it up

I haven’t yet decided though

I’ve not thought it through enough

I’ve made a list of pros and cons

and pondered it for days

wandering round and round

in a ruminating haze

If I really stop and think about it

and I assure you that I have

the thought of thinking things no more

really doesn’t sound too bad

It seems to me that many folks

are getting on just fine

simply gliding through their lives

with empty little minds

But then again, they’re dolts

something I don’t care to be

Without the thoughts I think

would I even still be me?

If I think therefore I am

like Descartes said

I’d cease to be, I’d be no more

without the thoughts that fill my head

“Cogito ergo sum”

Damn

Crystal R. Cook

Weekend Coffee Share, scatterbrains, books, & a light rain

Apr25

If we were having coffee . . . I would be late, because I always seem to be late these days. My wandering mind has been getting lost quite frequently, and once I notice it’s off on an unplanned adventure, I almost always lose my way even further while trying to find it. My husband and children have become excellent trackers, their search and rescue efforts have so far kept me from straying too far.

It’s actually been productive, not so much in the way of actually accomplishing some of the things I need to accomplish, but I’ve had time to think and create and ponder things I’ve been wanting to ponder. I’ve managed to keep the bills paid and the family hasn’t starved. They may tell you they are on the brink of malnourishment, but they would be exaggerating. Making them fend for themselves every now and then is tantamount to parental neglect in their eyes. They are technically adults, by the way.

As a matter of fact, next month, my baby – the youngest of my trolls, will be eighteen. I’m not sure how that happened, yesterday he was a chubby little monster who snuggled up to me with his Pooh Bear to listen to stories. Now, he is bigger than me, but you know what? He still comes and snuggles up with me, and he still loves to listen to me read stories.

Next month another birthday of sorts will roll around, one year since my blog, The Qwiet Muse was born. Honestly, I didn’t expect it would survive past a month or two. Self confidence is something I have the slightest of struggles with. I must say though, as my blog has grown, so has my valiancy.

I’ve been reading a lot lately, I had the good fortune to be an ARC reader for a fantastic book, Order of Seven by Beth Teliho, <— check out her blog * I loved it. I shared a short review here in case you’re interested, I seriously recommend it as a fantastic read. I’ve been sent two new ARC copies for review in the last couple of weeks as well, Lose The Cape – Realities from Busy Modern Moms and Strategies to Survive and Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness 2nd Ed, I’m looking forward to reading them and sharing my thoughts.

I spent the better part of today roaming the aisles of Barnes & Noble, looking for treasures. I left with the latest installment of the Dorothy Must Die series, The Wicked Will Rise, Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman, Paradise Lost by John Milton, People I want to Punch in the Throat by Jen Mann, and two volumes containing all ten of L. Frank Baum’s Oz books. Fabulous afternoon. Of course, any afternoon filled with books and coffee are bound to be fabulous.

Now I’m sitting here listening to the sound of rain falling outside my window and counting my blessings. I’m sipping a nice hot cup of coffee too . . .